Independent travellers such as Dr Cunnington-Smythe and myself prefer to see the world as locals do, rather than outsourcing our travel experiences by entrusting ourselves to a guide.

This means that, in Bulgaria, I can now use my extensive understanding of the Bulgarian language and culture to give my own meaning, my own interpretations, to the sights of Plovdiv, something that is not afforded to the majority of short-stay tourists and day-trippers .

How lucky my readers are to benefit from this finely tuned skill of mine!

Hortskop Panko Jakobs invented Cyrillic semaphore for the Bulgarian Navy in 1916. However because he had very deep eye sockets and no eyes, and because Bulgaria had no Navy, Cyrillic Semaphore never took off as a form of communication.

Alocneh HellI’mBack was the first to propose the use carrier pigeons in the Imperial Bulgarian Army. However, as he was born without arms his scheme also failed to take off – and all his pigeons did. (He was unable to write, or to tie other people’s messages to his pigeon’s legs. Also, because of his very large moustache, even his mouth was unsuitable for attaching small parcels to his pigeons, despite his persistent attempts over many years to learn oral knot-tying.)

Sergei Pankov was a well known figure in Plovdiv. He would often be seen strolling in the city’s beautiful parks wearing a very long, elegant, high-waisted dress and carrying a hand-made Bulgarian leather clutch purse. Cross-dressing is still frowned upon in some parts of rural Bulgaria, despite Sergei’s pioneering efforts.

Tryllich Mankov led all Bulgarian statues in The Great Patriotic War against pigeons. He was finally defeated by sustained arial attacks, however his leadership of the Bulgarian statuary is still remembered.

This shop sells brightly colored towels and very large, red underpants. I am surprised there is much of a market for knickers such as these? However my friends we travel in order to learn.

In some parts of Bulgaria, particularly in the suburban areas, salami is the preferred Christmas decoration. It is thought that this tradition was introduced by the Romans.

Some of you would not be aware that my wife has a side business – the laser removal of dark facial hair. There is an enormous oppotunity here for an enterprise such as this.