There is always a time in the interactions between travellers when the conversation turns to toilets. Now is such a time. As a lover of history (and of really bad names) I think a discussion about Thomas Crapper is overdue. Thomas Crapper (his real name!) was a pioneer in a number of areas – his company had the first ever plumbing showroom, he received a royal warrant to put flushing toilets into Sandringham Castle and even after he died in 1906 sewer covers with his name on them were being produced by a foundry he owned (you will find pictures of them on the internet). I suspect he may have also made the toilet I used yesterday.

In 1906 it would have been a modern affair. Paper was dispensed with the push of a button, flushing occurred upon arising, and the whole cubicle was sprayed with a scented mist on exit. All of this for just 20 cents my children!

Those who have been to Japan would have experienced wonder when using the latest in electronic marvels. Those who have been to India or China have also been struck speechless no doubt. I confessed to one of my travelling companions last night that I am wracked by uncertainties when forced to use the hole in the floor variety – what do you do with your trousers, which way should I face, why is there no paper and where should I put my shoulder bag? None of this was of concern when using Crapper’s 1905 Model Iberian Railways Auto Deluxe Water Closet found outside a local railway station.

My children, as you travel through Iran and Columbia, I just know how much you will wish that Thomas Crapper and Sons had spread their plumbing even further. But then, just think of the rich conversations you will be able to bring to the toilet-talk table next time we meet,

Your Loving Father

 F C-S