Miss Moneypenny  (yes, her real name) was educated in an all-girls school in Brisbane, and did teacher education in Brisbane. She was the first person I knew who had travelled overseas, been to an opera or eaten snails. The snails impressed us. She could speak three languages, she could play a number of musical instruments and had done ballet. In 1969 however she was assigned to my class- Rosewood Yr 8 -to teach French, Music and English. Miss Moneypenny had been thrown to the Rosewood wolves.
I am just a litte ashamed now to reflect on the lengths the boys in our class would go to in order to make her life hellish. She required a hearing aid, my best friend discovered that blowing through a Bic pen would set up some kind of weird interference that drove her mad. We all bought and blew through Bic pens. We realised that if we took it in turns to start miming in music lessons she would eventually turn up the volume of her hearing aid. We took it in turns to start miming then, when the hearing aid went full volume we would all start yelling.

Her English classes were standard fare for the time but they always had the potential to be made more interesting by her worldliness. I’m sure she could have shared stories of Paris, Rome, or London – but may as well have been telling them in French. This was a town and a time that saw a trip to the Brisbane Ecca as an exotic, once a year adventure.

Miss Moneypenny started taking more and more sick leave, then one day she didn’t come back at all. Our Principal took us for music – he would put on a record over the loudspeaker and we would do marching on the parade ground. Another teacher took us for French and English, she didn’t have a hearing aid and was obviously told to belt anyone who caused disruption. Bic pens lost their appeal, as did French,  English and Music. But Miss Moneypenny did leave one legacy. I became fascinated with all things French or foreign. I didn’t study any language after Yr 8 but still have some (very limited) comprehension of French. I have a deep and abiding  love of travel and music. I sometimes even watch dance and enjoy it.. And I have eaten snails many times.

Miss Moneypenny, I am grateful for a year of French, albeit in a Rosewood kind of way. I am grateful for the fascination with language, travel and gastronomy that ensued. And I do wish to apologize about the Bic pen thing -it really was Steve Clark’s idea. And it was his idea to mime during music lessons, not mine. 

For all of this, I really am so sorry. (Kevin Rudd, eat your heart out)

F C-S